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A Day on the Water

  A Day on the Water I reached across the seat to scratch his head. It was soft in my palm, his ears like velvet on my fingertips. I put my hand back on the wheel. “Come on now,” I said to myself. “Stay strong. It’s just a dog. The world isn’t ending.” But it sure felt like the world was ending, or at least like it would never be the same. A piece if its magic was slipping behind the curtain, about to disappear. Reb and I were just waiting for the wand to wave. We were still a ways from the ramp when Reb smelled the water. He whined, seaching inside himself for a last vestige of excitement. The water scent grew stronger when we pulled into the boat ramp. Despite his sickness, Reb grew restless, pushing his head through the opened window, his tail wagging slowly behind him, beating against my arm, still unsure. When I backed the trailer to the water Reb found his strength, and shouted it through the window to whomever might hear. We walked together across the floating dock, stepping gin
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Friends with Benefits

  Friends with Benefits Whiskey and Wine always got along fine until one night they tumbled together. What they thought would be nice, a cocktail on ice, left them high, dry, and unfettered. Where she used to be sweet, he simple and neat, now they swirled in a toxic ether, of love and lust that in the end must leave them both feeling under the weather. So keep it in mind that not all pairings wind up as happy as lace and leather. No, these two should stay friends, and not hook-up again, so we all can wake up feeling better.
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The Doodle Mafia

  The Doodle Mafia My dog, General Sherman, has been saving up his money to get a DNA test. He wants to see if he can up his value and desirability. If by some chance it turns out that he does indeed have some poodle mixed into his typically American mongrelization, it would be the doggy equivalent of having royal bloodlines. I mean, what dog doesn’t dream of being non-shedding, and hypo-allergenic?  With the chance that the test comes back positive, Sherman has been trying to come up with a name for his breed, ie “Labradoodle”, or “Golden-doodle“. He is fully aware that, being Southern and a bit hillbilly, it is likely that his options will be a bit different from the normal everyday doodle varieties. For instance, we know his Grampa Red was a Coonhound, and we cannot find a prefabricated name for a poodle-hound mix, so Sherman tried out “Coonoodle-Doodle” on me this morning. I must admit, it has a sexy ring to it. There is also surely some Beagle blood. While “Poogle” is definitely o
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Weeding Life’s Garden

  Weeding Life’s Garden Congratulations my friend, for graduating from the Spring of your life and into its Summer. Gone are the days of rainbows and buttercups. Now the weeds and storm clouds have found their way into the magical garden of childhood. But do not despair! Granted they are many, but they are only clouds and weeds. You have been well prepared! Now is the time to begin using those lessons ingrained by loving parents, wizened mentors, and fastidious teachers. It is an exciting time, a time to accept the responsibility of tending your own little plot, for it is not age that makes us adult, it is the willingness and ability to accept responsibility. Coming soon is the time for you to step out alone, to discover who you are, to ferret out new ideas, to plan for your own future rather than having it planned out for you. And now is the time to begin seeing life on this Earth for what it truly is, a roller coaster ride of mountains and valleys, pleasures and pains, loves and loss
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The Night Hag

  The Night Hag Matilda Twitty was young and pretty, the princess of Fairly Hall. And popular too, nearly everyone knew her well as the belle of the ball. The trouble though, what they couldn’t know, was that Tildy had a twin, an evil tart with an onyx heart who used magic to do men in. Tabitha Twitty was unknown in the city as the family hid her away, in an upstairs site, where they hoped they might keep her villainous powers at bay. But the men from town, determined and bound that Matilda see their allure, came to call, at Fairly Hall on its princess so fair and demure. But what the boys got was not what they thought as they serenaded their love. Those courtships were jaded, while the boys promenaded, Tabitha spied on them from above. Sipping her wine, biding her time, unseen from her garret’s gable. Awaiting her chance while ”Sweet Tildy“ danced, to cut in and turn the table.  This sis in the attic was a raging addict who when the night grew late, would sneak below, and steal the so
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The Cure for what Ails Ya

  The Cure for What Ails Ya Deep in the Ecuadorian rainforest, shaded forever from light by a dense canopy formed beneath the ever drip, drip, dripping leaves of a thick and ancient stand of kapok trees, rooted in the rotted, but vitamin rich vegetation that lies atop the mud-slick slime that must do for soil in this fetid place, grows a malodorous, mushroom shaped fungi that if ever swallowed by man will prove to be the cure for all that physically and mentally plagues him in this world... if only he could ever find it, and once found pick the slimy thing from the ground, and once picked be curious enough, brave enough, and hungry enough to put the disgusting thing into his mouth, chew it up, and swallow. If only ever. Sigh...
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Fill’er Up, Please

  Fill’er Up, Please Fifteen minutes of love is only twenty bucks at the Springfield Flying J Truck Stop. She ran off from the place a few months back when the manager of the joint grew soft on her, but his business fell so slack so that he had to get her back, no matter the cost. Fortunately, it wasn’t hard for Pete to find her. She was only one exit down, at the Circle 10 Fuel and Fireworks. Her name is Windy, and like a vacuum she sucks in the big rigs, giving her drivers not just the quick pump and go, but a warm shower afterwards too, and a bite of cherry pie at the counter. She truly loves those truckers, so she throws herself into the job, and in so doing she keeps those lonely men coming for miles around. It was really all her fault, and Windy knew it. Like any good employee, she tried to be sweet to the boss, even to suck up a little, but when Pete started balling her out about laying down on the job, it made satisfying her customers extremely tricky. I mean, how can he tell h
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